It is early morning, so early that my family is still asleep and the house is quiet. The snow is gently falling outside and I am sitting quietly with a cup of tea, thinking about making babies.
One of the constants in my fertility practice is asking people to make change. And often I am asking them to change something that gives them comfort or pleasure! I will ask them to stop eating the things that they crave, or to spend less time relaxing in front of the TV. I may even suggest doing more exercise and almost always give terrible tasting herbal concoctions to take!
I am fortunate, because the clients that I work with are highly motivated to do whatever they need to, in order to help them improve their chances of getting pregnant. They begin with the end goal in mind, something that is so important, they will move mountains to get to it. They go through the discomfort of making change so they can have a baby.
I have started to notice something magical happens as the changes begin to settle in.
When they initially set out, their change is motivated by the one goal, making a baby. They grit their teeth and force the herbs down their throats, drag themselves to the mat to do yoga every night and sigh as they sit to meditate. I check in with them week after week and slowly the effort softens.
They start to report feeling better, having more energy, sleeping more soundly, better digestion, less headaches, no more sore back. And they realize that they are not going to just make this change in order to have a baby, and then quit and go back to what they were doing before. No, it’s different this time. They are not struggling to stay motivated to stick to a plan or fulfill a resolution. They hang on to the change because it feels good. They hang on to the change so long that it becomes their new way of life.
And from my vantage point, I see them head off in a new direction, on a new path to a different destiny. One that is heading toward pregnancy.